I believe I have mentioned before that I have a certain, shall we say, "quirk" whereby I simply cannot let food go to waste. I have been known to eat frozen meat (and I cringe as I write this, yet I know I'd do it again) three YEARS after it was first placed in the freezer. 99% of the time, I am perfectly fine after I do this, elevating my stomach to "cast iron" status among friends. I have picked off the moldy parts of bread and made a sandwich, and have eaten week and a half old pizza.
I say all this, and yet even I have limits. Last Monday, I made spaghetti for my dad and sister, and it was delicious. I saved the leftovers and doled them out for all at the end of the night, but fate conspired against my finishing them in the few days after making the dish. So. This Monday, a full week later, I finally ate some of that spaghetti for dinner. I didn't think anything of it, since I have eaten week old spaghetti dozens of times. The difference was, this time I had used fresh pasta, creating perhaps a perfect storm of destruction in my stomach after ingestion. I woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, with aches and cramps in my gut that usually mean only one of two things (and since I am a lady I won't say what they are). This continued for most of the morning but finally passed by lunch time. I couldn't be sure that it was the spaghetti, since I had also made pear muffins Monday night using eggs that had passed their "Use by" date two and a half weeks before. To test the theory, I ate the spaghetti again for lunch Tuesday. Unfortunately, I also ate another muffin Tuesday, and this morning at 3AM I was rewarded with intense cramping and explosive bathroom visits. Two doses of Pepto Bismol later and things hadn't even subsided a little. My cast iron stomach has been defeated by either bacteria-laden fettuccine or poisonous unfertilized chickens.
OR...it could be that glass I drank last night. Brian opened a bottle of wine for me and Janessa, and the mouth of the bottle chipped and shattered into the neck. We rinsed it out with water and even passed the wine through a flour sifter (Janessa's idea, I wouldn't even have done that much) but there was no way to be certain that each ladleful of our decanted wine didn't have minute shards of glass in it. Oh sure, we could have thrown away the bottle, but all of us agreed that it was a sin to waste a good $5 bottle of Chardonnay. I'm not sure what the reaction of the body to glass ingestion is, but it feels like it must be something like this. To be safe, tonight I am going to eat neither spaghetti nor muffin, and I sure as hell aint gonna be eating no glass, and hopefully my stomach will bounce back tomorrow, stronger than ever.
Although I did eat that week and a half old burrito today...
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