when I accidentally eat a piece of shrimp I've been saving on my plate for the end of the meal
baby on board stickers
men who wear white flip flops or white sunglasses or any necklace to speak of
cuts that make my skin all flappy and stingy
fat people in skinny jeans
Yorkies with clothes on. No it's not cute.
when I run over a dead squirrel in my car
Uggs
midnight showings of the movie adaptation of that new young adult novel
iPhones and the Apple regime
finding a hair on your person that definitely isn't yours
powdered sugar
pulling your headphones out of the gym bag only to find they've woven themselves into an impenetrable cord ball
daddy long legs
realizing your taco was indeed too hot to eat
names like Chase and Kayla and Jaxson
the phrase "it is what it is"
when you're sitting in a quiet room filled with people and your stomach decides to make that weird farting noise
men who drive Mustangs
people who sing karaoke like they're auditioning for American Idol
American Idol
the red shirt hidden in your load of white laundry
asking for no cilantro and then receiving a bowl full of rice noodles with cilantro interwoven between every strand
the high pitched incessant wail of a baby interrupting your fancy dinner at Chez TJ
Prius drivers
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