last great american whale

So I just finished reading this book called The Average American Male. And I know, I am not male. But when I was at the library, I was intrigued enough to put it in my stack, and it was red, so you know, at least it will match my apartment for as long as I forget to take it back.

And let me just say... lame. I don't mean lame as in I take offense at its in your face macho attitude. I get that. I mean lame as in this book is way more of what the average american male wishes he was rather than the sad truth of what he is. Which makes it even sadder. The entire book consisted of the main characters stupid relationship with this twit of a girlfriend whose sole plan in life is to get married and get fat. Throughout this relationship he is miserable, until he meets a younger hotter girl he begins to have amazing sex with but ultimately and inescapably turns into the same kind of girl he broke up with before. I don't know if that is supposed to be a commentary on the fate of all society, but again, lame. The main character in the book is supposed to be the average male: horny, carefree, and stuck because all women want to tie him down. The first two, ok. I agree that most guys are like that. But to make all the female characters in the book hell bent on securing themselves a male to provide for them and take them off the market...I mean come on. I just don't think that works today. All the women I know are independent and do pretty damn well without a man to make them housewives. If anything, the women I know are more afraid of marriage than the men, and would much rather be free to do whatever they want than have to report to a complaining guy at home. I think this book could just as easily be called the average american female by changing all cocks to vaginas, all whiny girlfriends to crying whiny boyfriends, and we'd have the same damn story.

Moral: grow a pair, average american male. Your women have outgrown you and you haven't even realized it yet.