I admit it, there are a lot of things that get my blood boiling. I mean, a LOT. So it's no surprise that maybe 60 times a day various people/events/actions/breakfast items piss me off to no end. But there is one thing that deserves special mention, since not only is it supremely annoying, but also pretentious, self-satisfied, idiotic, and just plain lame. I'm talking, of course, about those ridiculous decals that proud mothers get to adorn their hideous minivan/SUVs. Only slightly more infuriating than the "Baby on Board" signs that were so popular in the '90s and yet still somehow remain today, these decals not only advertise that the driver is a dipshit whose number one accomplishment in life was to spit out two, three or (save us Jesus) four children, but they also presume to imagine that we, the other drivers on the road, give half a shit. What they really do is make me wish I had a larger vehicle to ram them, their basketball-loving son, ballerina daughter, and goldfish right off the road.
I'm not saying having a family is bad. But is it really necessary to plaster them on your back windshield? I think not , unless those specific members of your family have done something special. A decal of a little girl in pigtails holding up a flask containing the cure for cancer is something even I can't find fault with. But until then, I think I will continue to hate silently in my car as I'm stuck behind the Chevy Astro crawling along the freeway with the happy stick family smiling at me from their perch on the glass.
And maybe, someday, I'll have my own family I'm proud enough to slap on the back of my car...
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