two weeks in review

A couple weeks ago, my boss called me into the conference room, which in and of itself is kind of a nerve-wracking experience (even though the last conference room meeting resulted in my receiving an envelope filled with cash). When we got in, he told me that he was really sorry, but he would have to cut my hours back to just two days a week. There isn't as much work coming in, and because he's in the business of buying property, there isn't any income right now either, making for a pretty bleak situation. I've worked with him for two and a half years, and I've never seen him look more depressed than he did when he told me all this. Talking to him, I was calm and I was understanding, but inside I was panicking and thinking I would have to move back in with my dad. Or start whoring for money. Isn't that what Craigslist is for?

After that meeting, I updated my resume and applied for everything I was even remotely qualified for in fields I had even the tiniest bit of experience in. I discovered in one morning that I've actually learned a lot more than I realized at this job, which hopefully has made me a more marketable employee. After faxing my resume/cover letter to one prospective employer, I forgot to pick up the confirmation sheet that also prints out the first page of what you faxed. So about five minutes later, a coworker came into my office looking really concerned. I had to explain what happened (feeling guilty for some reason, like I was going behind everyone's back to look for more work) and she told me she would keep her eyes peeled for any opportunity she might see. About ten minutes after that, another coworker came in and told me that she had just learned of my situation and would I mind if she called her boss' neighbor who had asked her to work for him a few months ago to see if he still needed anyone? I told her of course not! And she made the call, and learned that he had found someone, but knew of someone else who needed an assistant. So he called that guy and then called back to give me his cell number so I could also call and introduce myself. I did, and ended up scheduling a meeting for later that day.

I wound up meeting with the CEO of this new company that day, and then the CFO the following day. I left both days with a really good feeling that this might become a new opportunity for me, and WAY sooner than I could have hoped. The next week, the CEO called both the woman who had referred me and my current boss to see what they had to say about my work ethic. Apparently they weren't too hard on me, because at the end of the week he offered me the job, starting part time at first to kind of phase out at my office now, and then hopefully moving on to full time after two months. I'm excited to start with a new, stable company in what could become a really great career move, but at the same time, I'm sad that I will probably have to leave where I'm at now. I've learned that there are way more important things than money when it comes to working. It's really important to me to be appreciated for the work I do, and to have people I work with who I genuinely look forward to seeing every day. I know the new office will be like that, because everyone there seems really great, but it's depressing that I will have to leave these women and my boss who bent over backwards to help me out these past couple of weeks.

(But don't get me wrong, the money's nice too.)

Over the next couple of months I will be working like crazy, going from one job to the next and trying to ingratiate myself in the new office so that they have to wonder what they ever did without me. I have to also go buy some new office clothes that make sure to hide my tattoos, cause something tells me I shouldn't show the arm and shoulder till I'm no longer a contractor and they can't get rid of me. Turtlenecks and long sleeves, here I come!

backwards underpants: cause I'm rebellious like that

Ever have one of those days when you're visiting the powder room at work, doing your business, and then you reach down to pull up your undergarments, only to realize that the little pink dog logo for your Victoria's Secret PINK underpants is alarmingly well-embroidered on the side facing you? What follows this realization is a small-scale internal dilemma: do I remove my pants and shoes here in the bathroom to correct this mistake and flip my chonies right side out, or do I bravely forge onward and continue the rest of the day (including spinning tonight) knowing that I am soiling the wrong side of my underwear?? This is a question I have had to ask myself twice now in the past month, since apparently the darkness in my closet at 6:45AM coupled with the fact that I refuse to open my eyes completely before 7 have combined to make me underpant dyslexic. At least it's almost impossible to confuse the front from the back. That would be painful.

FYI, I chose not to take the time to fix my mistake, lest my pants touch the disgusting bathroom floor in the removal process.

what's trashier than Tara Reid?

I'm not going to say any of us out-trashed the trash queen, but dammit if we didn't try. I'm way too lazy to post all the pictures I took at the Second Annual White Trash party this weekend and edit them with commentary, so if y'all are so inclined, you can view the festivities here:

http://s78.photobucket.com/albums/j119/jawinn10/white%20trash%2008/

I will say that I did not think it was possible for us to outdo the costumes of last year, but I was blown away by the creativity and obvious multiple trips to the Goodwill. Well done, everyone, well done. Hooter's hot wings, Rosarita refried bean dip, eggrolls, falafels, chicken nuggets and a hostess dessert assortment graced the feasting table, and Hamm's, PBR, and the champagne of beers all made an appearance. The white elephant gift exchange was a huge success, with the most popular re-gifted items to steal being the Jelly Belly jelly bean container (complete with stale jelly beans inside!) and the porn variety pack with whip and lube. I ended up with a pegasus puzzle that is really shaped like a pegasus (!) and I have half a mind to put it together then mount it on the wall. The only thing stopping me is I'm pretty sure it was sitting in Laura's attic since we were ten years old and I know I'm going to get 999 pieces put in place, only to realize that I am missing the eyeball. I just can't take that kind of frustration again.

In an unrelated story, I was recently introduced to this site:
http://fuckyoupenguin.blogspot.com/ and apparently they are at war with Cute Overload to win the 2008 Weblog Award for best pet blog. I followed the link to what Cute Overload is saying, and it's pretty hilarious that some people are so up in arms about it: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2009/01/get-out-the-s-1.html I was reading through the entries yesterday while avoiding work and I couldn't stop laughing imagining people at home or work argue over who has better commentary about baby bunnies. I voted for the penguin, because that guy is hilarious, and I want to see the loyal readers of the other site go apeshit when they lose. I will be checking back frequently.

street justice

If I were granted the power and authority to kill whomever I chose, (street justice, if you will) then the asshole who decided it would be a good idea to remove the dead bugs from his windshield while traveling 70 mph on the freeway with me behind him would be first on my list to die today. Fucking douchebag. Could it not have waited? Who doesn't understand the laws of physics whereby something the weight of a grain of rice projected almost vertically is going to spray the bejeesus out of my windshield when faced with a horizontal force at least 1,000 times its weight?? Every time this happens to me I really wish I had heat seeking missiles in my Nissan Sentra. But, seeing as I couldn't even get a car with power windows, I don't think the "launch missile" feature will be available for upgrade any time soon.

Next on my death list is Katy Perry, because if I have to hear the opening lines, "You....change your mind...like a girl....changes clothes" one more time when flipping through the stations, I'm going to kill a puppy.

Resolutions for the New Year and other ways to feel like a failure by January 2nd

I've never really made New Year's Resolutions, (at least never with the intention of keeping them) preferring instead in past years to live through the ultimate failures of others'. Most people I know resolve to start working out in the New Year, figuring that for some reason once the dawn breaks Jan 1, they will open their bloodshot eyes after a few hours of drunken sleep and be able to resist the urge that had gotten the better of them the past 365 days and exercise rather than sleeping in and eating ho-hos for breakfast. This resolution only results in inevitable disappointment, because really the new year is no different than the last one and a new stretch of 12 months ahead of you doesn't take away the fact that you are a lazy slob. This, however, doesn't stop people from buying gym memberships and crowding my weekly yoga and spinning classes for the first few weeks of the year. Without fail though, by February everything is back to normal, restoring my faith in man's inability to stick with it.

This year I think I will try out a few resolutions that I'm pretty sure I can keep. This will not only boost my confidence and ability to follow through, but will make me look better than everyone else when, come February, I am still riding high on my accomplishments.

My New Year's Resolutions, 2009 Edition

1. I will slowly stop working out and will let the fat resume its hold of my ass and thighs.
2. I will eat more beef.
3. I will squander my paychecks on items I can't account for later and will barely be able to make my rent payments with the balance.
4. I will be more anxious.
5. I will spend at least one hour of every day wasting my life away.
6. I will not pursue a more financially rewarding career.
7. I will purchase more fabric and stow it away in various places in my closet, vowing to sew "projects" that will never get completed.
8. I will incorporate cheese into at least 85% of my weekly food intake.
9. I will not have a nice round number of resolutions.

Already I am ahead! 2009 is promising to be a very good year.

Hope everyone has a happy and safe New Year's Eve. After this we've got at least six weeks of no holidays. Adios, 2008!

end of november to remember (in bits and pieces)

A week late, but here are some pictures taken from the second annual Thanksgiving 2 at Dave’s house. Or maybe there were more than two but that’s how many I’ve attended. Most of these pictures I remember taking, but things started getting a little fuzzy towards the end there.

So let it begin…

The first shot of the night: the host (Dave) and Hector, relaxing while all the guests filtered in.





Hector and I before dinner…but not before I had a couple glasses of wine.








Erica being cute.





Dave and Brian, then Dave, Erica and Brian on the couch.








Janessa and Erica taking a picture, while I take a picture of them. Always delightful and flattering.





Not sure when these were taken so I’ll just put ‘em here:











Me and the baby.





Taken during dinner…











Taken after dinner (I think)























And here’s where I started to lose time.























We danced to “Sandstorm” for the entire song. I don’t know how it started, or why, but I do know that it would have been extremely embarrassing if I could remember it. For some reason, dancing in a living room to the shock and horror of friends is always a good idea after a bottle of wine.











It’s a shame Thanksgiving is but once a year. Thank God there’s December to help ease the pain.

flat turnovers, and the good luck continues

I said bunny rabbit yesterday. So why is the second day of my good-luck month already filled with disappointment and shame?

I actually remembered to say it this month, after maybe 6 months of forgetting to, before saying anything else like "Look, I'm still alive!" or "Hector, please tell me that's Sheba's nose between my butt cheeks" first thing upon waking up every first of the month. Because everyone knows that speaking anything before "Bunny Rabbit" on that day will ruin your chances of happiness and fortune for the month. Or so my mother tells me. But although I said it, I certainly don't feel any luckier yet.

For example, if this is going to be a good month, then why did Sheba take a crap on my kitchen table? Why, instead of getting over my cold, does my head seem to be filling up with more mucus than my body should be able to produce at an alarming rate which makes my voice sound like Gus Gus on Disney's Cinderella? Why were all the treadmills taken last night at the gym? Why did the free pastries and coffee this morning induce horrid cramping and several restroom trips, on top of the ones already caused by the pains in my ovaries? And why, after eagerly microwaving my leftover mushroom turnovers for a pre-lunch, post-breakfast treat, did I open the door to discover 5 tiny flattened crescents with soggy crusts?

I know in the grand scheme of things, this isn't as bad as, say, getting trampled to death at Wal Mart on Black Friday, but sometimes these little injuries add up.

I guess things could be worse. I could be Sheba.