I CAN RESIST EVERYTHING EXCEPT TEMPTATION

Thursday, January 29, 2009

two weeks in review

A couple weeks ago, my boss called me into the conference room, which in and of itself is kind of a nerve-wracking experience (even though the last conference room meeting resulted in my receiving an envelope filled with cash). When we got in, he told me that he was really sorry, but he would have to cut my hours back to just two days a week. There isn't as much work coming in, and because he's in the business of buying property, there isn't any income right now either, making for a pretty bleak situation. I've worked with him for two and a half years, and I've never seen him look more depressed than he did when he told me all this. Talking to him, I was calm and I was understanding, but inside I was panicking and thinking I would have to move back in with my dad. Or start whoring for money. Isn't that what Craigslist is for?

After that meeting, I updated my resume and applied for everything I was even remotely qualified for in fields I had even the tiniest bit of experience in. I discovered in one morning that I've actually learned a lot more than I realized at this job, which hopefully has made me a more marketable employee. After faxing my resume/cover letter to one prospective employer, I forgot to pick up the confirmation sheet that also prints out the first page of what you faxed. So about five minutes later, a coworker came into my office looking really concerned. I had to explain what happened (feeling guilty for some reason, like I was going behind everyone's back to look for more work) and she told me she would keep her eyes peeled for any opportunity she might see. About ten minutes after that, another coworker came in and told me that she had just learned of my situation and would I mind if she called her boss' neighbor who had asked her to work for him a few months ago to see if he still needed anyone? I told her of course not! And she made the call, and learned that he had found someone, but knew of someone else who needed an assistant. So he called that guy and then called back to give me his cell number so I could also call and introduce myself. I did, and ended up scheduling a meeting for later that day.

I wound up meeting with the CEO of this new company that day, and then the CFO the following day. I left both days with a really good feeling that this might become a new opportunity for me, and WAY sooner than I could have hoped. The next week, the CEO called both the woman who had referred me and my current boss to see what they had to say about my work ethic. Apparently they weren't too hard on me, because at the end of the week he offered me the job, starting part time at first to kind of phase out at my office now, and then hopefully moving on to full time after two months. I'm excited to start with a new, stable company in what could become a really great career move, but at the same time, I'm sad that I will probably have to leave where I'm at now. I've learned that there are way more important things than money when it comes to working. It's really important to me to be appreciated for the work I do, and to have people I work with who I genuinely look forward to seeing every day. I know the new office will be like that, because everyone there seems really great, but it's depressing that I will have to leave these women and my boss who bent over backwards to help me out these past couple of weeks.

(But don't get me wrong, the money's nice too.)

Over the next couple of months I will be working like crazy, going from one job to the next and trying to ingratiate myself in the new office so that they have to wonder what they ever did without me. I have to also go buy some new office clothes that make sure to hide my tattoos, cause something tells me I shouldn't show the arm and shoulder till I'm no longer a contractor and they can't get rid of me. Turtlenecks and long sleeves, here I come!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

backwards underpants: cause I'm rebellious like that

Ever have one of those days when you're visiting the powder room at work, doing your business, and then you reach down to pull up your undergarments, only to realize that the little pink dog logo for your Victoria's Secret PINK underpants is alarmingly well-embroidered on the side facing you? What follows this realization is a small-scale internal dilemma: do I remove my pants and shoes here in the bathroom to correct this mistake and flip my chonies right side out, or do I bravely forge onward and continue the rest of the day (including spinning tonight) knowing that I am soiling the wrong side of my underwear?? This is a question I have had to ask myself twice now in the past month, since apparently the darkness in my closet at 6:45AM coupled with the fact that I refuse to open my eyes completely before 7 have combined to make me underpant dyslexic. At least it's almost impossible to confuse the front from the back. That would be painful.

FYI, I chose not to take the time to fix my mistake, lest my pants touch the disgusting bathroom floor in the removal process.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

what's trashier than Tara Reid?

I'm not going to say any of us out-trashed the trash queen, but dammit if we didn't try. I'm way too lazy to post all the pictures I took at the Second Annual White Trash party this weekend and edit them with commentary, so if y'all are so inclined, you can view the festivities here:

http://s78.photobucket.com/albums/j119/jawinn10/white%20trash%2008/

I will say that I did not think it was possible for us to outdo the costumes of last year, but I was blown away by the creativity and obvious multiple trips to the Goodwill. Well done, everyone, well done. Hooter's hot wings, Rosarita refried bean dip, eggrolls, falafels, chicken nuggets and a hostess dessert assortment graced the feasting table, and Hamm's, PBR, and the champagne of beers all made an appearance. The white elephant gift exchange was a huge success, with the most popular re-gifted items to steal being the Jelly Belly jelly bean container (complete with stale jelly beans inside!) and the porn variety pack with whip and lube. I ended up with a pegasus puzzle that is really shaped like a pegasus (!) and I have half a mind to put it together then mount it on the wall. The only thing stopping me is I'm pretty sure it was sitting in Laura's attic since we were ten years old and I know I'm going to get 999 pieces put in place, only to realize that I am missing the eyeball. I just can't take that kind of frustration again.

In an unrelated story, I was recently introduced to this site:
http://fuckyoupenguin.blogspot.com/ and apparently they are at war with Cute Overload to win the 2008 Weblog Award for best pet blog. I followed the link to what Cute Overload is saying, and it's pretty hilarious that some people are so up in arms about it: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2009/01/get-out-the-s-1.html I was reading through the entries yesterday while avoiding work and I couldn't stop laughing imagining people at home or work argue over who has better commentary about baby bunnies. I voted for the penguin, because that guy is hilarious, and I want to see the loyal readers of the other site go apeshit when they lose. I will be checking back frequently.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

street justice

If I were granted the power and authority to kill whomever I chose, (street justice, if you will) then the asshole who decided it would be a good idea to remove the dead bugs from his windshield while traveling 70 mph on the freeway with me behind him would be first on my list to die today. Fucking douchebag. Could it not have waited? Who doesn't understand the laws of physics whereby something the weight of a grain of rice projected almost vertically is going to spray the bejeesus out of my windshield when faced with a horizontal force at least 1,000 times its weight?? Every time this happens to me I really wish I had heat seeking missiles in my Nissan Sentra. But, seeing as I couldn't even get a car with power windows, I don't think the "launch missile" feature will be available for upgrade any time soon.

Next on my death list is Katy Perry, because if I have to hear the opening lines, "You....change your mind...like a girl....changes clothes" one more time when flipping through the stations, I'm going to kill a puppy.