one woman ad for prohibition

My flirtation with alcohol has followed a fairly hilly yet predictable path over the years -- from taking my first sip of beer at age six to getting drunk alone at home this Wednesday. I'm proud to say I was on the wagon for ten whole years after that first disgusting sip of Coors my dad let me have, after much persistent begging on my end (how was I to know it didn't taste like Tab?) In high school, my mom decided it would be a good idea for me to have my first full blown drunken experience at home. I had a whole glass of Bailey's (on the rocks, of course) and proclaimed it was better than cough syrup. Surprisingly, I didn't drink in high school and it was another two years before I reluctantly tried beer again. The pressures of college life and the desire to fit in overrode my total body revulsion from my first can of Natural Light and I managed to build up a tolerance for beer flavored water. I didn't drink all that much throughout my four years at school though, and when we celebrated our freedom from college life by drinking mimosas and spraying champagne all over each other before swimming across the disgusting pond on campus, that was pretty much as sloppy as it got.

Because I was in a committed relationship throughout college and for the year after, I didn't really go out and party like I should have. This meant that when I inevitably broke up with my boyfriend who lived 3,000 miles away, I was faced with the not-entirely-disappointing realization that I was finally able to do whatever I wanted with my life, which included drinking to excess and making horrible decisions, which I did, with relish. For the next ten years.

Cut to 2011 and things aren't a whole lot different. I don't go out as often as I used to, but I'm freshly single again so I imagine that's going to change soon. The only thing now is that when I drink to excess on a Wednesday evening, getting up at 6:30AM to be an adult isn't as easy as it used to be. I try to make grand proclamations such as "I'm not drinking for a month" but those never stick because being the only sober one in the group is no fun, and let's face it, I'm funnier after four vodka sprites. Once it hits your lips...

I don't know where I was going with this. Reading it over, I can't tell if I originally intended this post to serve as a denunciation of drinking, or an endorsement. It's actually only served to make me thirsty. Who wants a drink?