hos in different area codes

So I put one of those little map things on my blog because Laura had one and, like a younger sister, I want everything she has. What I have discovered from it, if true, fills me with a mixture of elation, rage, and shame. Elation, because I had no idea anyone was actually reading this thing, and like any garden variety egotistical ass, the fact that my ramblings are being read (and in my mind, adored) the world over is pretty damn exciting. Those tiny dots have the power to control my self-esteem.

Rage, because come on! I live in the Bay Area. All my friends and family live in the Bay Area. So WHY, dear god, is the dot for the Bay Area so ridiculously miniscule? This means my friends and family are shirking their duties to read and worship my writings. Shirkers! You know who you are and you will be punished.

The shame is because I care in the first place. I'd like to pretend I don't, but hey, if someone stumbles onto my site because they were looking for kitten porn and the red dot increases in size for that geographical location, then so be it. I'm not above accidental hits to the page. In fact, I should start peppering my paragraphs with popular search phrases so as to make it seem like I have juicy content. But that would take too much effort, so instead, please enjoy this photo.