a new low

Last Sunday night on my way back from the beach I was struck down like the heathen that I am with a stealthy and unexpected virus. It began with dizziness and a feeling like I was being pumped with air, much like a bicycle tire. As soon as I got home, I barely stumbled up the stairs without passing out and threw myself on the bed, salty beach clothes and all. I slept uncomfortably from 7:30 till 10:30, when the floodgates opened and the sandwich I had eaten 8 hours earlier demanded its exit, still mostly intact. This carried on for way too many hours into the night, until finally I was able to sleep without being woken up by the spins.

I went to work Monday morning although it took way too much effort to dress myself and put on makeup. After dealing with a huge accounting error that couldn’t have come at a better time, I finally went home at one and called Janessa in order to be coddled like the baby I am. I was starving, but a little unsure of what might be acceptable to my system. So the obvious choice was Sweet Tomatoes. Followed by a dinner of barbecued chicken and corn. All I will say about the outcome of that…I can no longer say I’ve never had an “accident”. I don’t know how I feel about that, it’s embarrassing but strangely refreshing. Anyway, my stomach problems continued through Tuesday so I decided not to release that thunder on the office and stayed home. Tuesday night I finally tried eating again, and praise be to jebus, it stayed in. I was so hungry from my ordeal that I actually dreamt about eating McDonalds. I think that sums up the desperation of my experience.

After not having nourishment for 3 straight days, I can tell you that the body starts to revolt when performing basic functions like walking, standing, and raising one’s arms. But after that experience, I find it quite fitting that rather than easing back into the eating circuit, I launched right in with a Wednesday night feast at La Fondue and Thursday night burgerfest at the Counter. Bring on the weekend!