...because, as Janessa so astutely points out, you can really only get turnip from turnip. Unfortunately, this turnip has run dry. I read somewhere that single women in the U.S. on average spend all but like $30 of their total annual income, and judging from the last month, I can believe it. Within a day of depositing my paycheck I had about $30 to last me till the next one. And nary a shoe, purse, or new article of clothing to show for it. This is mainly due to the fact that I'm attempting to be responsible and allocate funds (after paying the staggering monthly bills) for Vegas on the 8th and finishing my latest tattoo on the 1st, but being responsible sure makes for boring weekends.
I saw a fat woman on the corner Saturday with a sign saying "Pregnant...please help." If she was pregnant, then I'm an asshole, because I just looked at her misshapen stomach tire and thought to myself "Liar." And if that was indeed a human baby that made that shape under your t-shirt, madam, then I am sorry I passed you with Erasure blaring out of my open windows. I might just have to start standing on a few corners myself to make ends meet...
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