Unbreakable!

I think it's safe to say that I am clumsy. Awkward, ungraceful, some might even say, elephantine. How this began I have no idea, but I can remember falling on my face every year I was forced to participate in my elementary school's Turkey Trot, where I raced like my very life depended on it rather than just a free turkey for the holidays. Damned if I didn't want that turkey, and damned if I didn't always end up running with so much concentration that I ended up face down in the dirt. Embarrassing.

As I've grown older, my clumsiness has expanded into new and startling arenas of pain and embarrassment caused by stupidity: gouging out my knuckles whilst peeling potatoes, slicing into my palms after stubbornly ignoring the advice of a seasoned avocado-slicer and pit-remover, somersaulting into the Merced river after trying to baptize my hair. I don't know why I do some of the things I do, but I am amazed and thankful that I have yet to break any bones.

I say I am clueless as to how I wake up each day to new bruises, scars, and peeled away flesh, and yet this very morning before work I found myself ironing the ruffles flat on my blouse in front of the doorway, not on the ironing board as I was taught in all my fashion design classes, but on my body as I was wearing it. If I didn't think my iron got hot enough before, I most certainly appreciate its strength now. Who doesn't want a nice smooth patch of burnt cleavage skin for the summer beach season?

In happier news, as we're entering weekend two of July/August Budget Crackdown, I've managed to do pretty well and not spend any unnecessary money. I've been cleaning out my freezer and cabinets, and last night managed to make a pretty delicious meal using risotto, chicken broth, remnants of mozzarella cheese that probably should have been tossed a month ago, and leftover tamales that Isabel was kind enough to give to me. I've hit the bottom of the freezer though, so this looks to be a weekend filled with chopped walnuts in a baggie, canned fruit cocktail, and Vietnamese rice vermicelli. Sounds like a challenge for Iron Chef to me! If I don't wind up with botulism before Vegas, I will be as surprised as anyone.