Damn, Panda!

I just almost got hit on the way to work. Twice. Whereas some might view this as a negative reflection on my own driving, I am going to go with putting the blame on the idiot drivers of Sunnyvale/San Jose. The first clueless bastard who no doubt bribed his way via poor quality sexual favors into possession of a CA license put his blinker on (so far, so good) but unfortunately immediately followed that up with a blind merge into my lane. While I appreciate his good driver habits, they mean nothing without actually looking to see if the lane you are proposing to enter is, in fact, clear. Janessa, are you paying attention to this? NEVER do this when you finally learn to drive. So because I was already at bumper level, when he came into my lane I was forced onto the shoulder where I sped past him, making sure to give him my best death glare on the way by. I still don't think he even knew I was there.

The second asshole was on the freeway in a minivan, which already loses him points. He too made excellent use of his blinker. I thought "no way is this guy just going to come in, he must see me here right behind him on his right." But no. The fact that we were both going upwards of 75 mph made this encounter a tad more frightening, and this time I liberally applied a horn pounding/brake combo. That scared him and he veered off to the left, properly chastised. But Jesus. People, a blinker does not mean you get to come on in. You still need to use your eyes, and possibly - but not limited to - a head swivel. I have said it before and I will say it again, I really wish I alone was granted permission to heave grenades and/or rocket launchers at drivers who displease me.

I just found out I can leave the office at ten. Suddenly, all is right with the world.