Intro to Me: A typical weekend in the life

First post carried over from myspace...

I was going to write about my weekend yesterday but was still kind of hazy on some of the details, so now that I have coordinated and done research with some of the other people involved, I have a more accurate portrayal of what actually went down.

Not to make it sound more exciting than it really was, pretty much the only notable fact is that I quite possibly consumed more alcohol this weekend than I ever have in my adult life. And I may have developed a medical condition.

Friday night started with the best of intentions to finish the blasted jacket pattern I've been working on for the third consecutive week now. I went to school after work and stayed for about five hours, and still managed to leave having completed no visible improvements. But that could have been because I had a buzz from the "office lunch" my bosses convinced me to take from 11 to 1:30. Maybe I use that term too loosely, because I ate like a post-op and consumed only liquids. It was much more fun than going to the gym. Anyway, when my cousin called me later that evening I figured going bowling would be a nice, safe, relaxing way to spend the night. A pitcher each between Janessa and I later, my game was rapidly declining and I came to the sudden conclusion that I was drunk.

I would just like to insert a little note here to praise Janess, since she admirably continued to play after overcoming the obstacles of having no socks, and bowling her first game with the hefty score of 7. Her score climbed exponentially with each glass she downed. Go, baby!

Saturday morning I woke up with a horrible hangover and after looking around my room a bit, learned that a) I had eaten a quesadilla (or 2 or 3) when I got home the night before, and b) I had attempted to urinate on the sidewalk by taco bell and grossly underestimated my trajectory. This second realization took a bit of sleuthing, but was no less disappointing when I pieced it together. I went to the gym to try to salvage some pretense of health since there were plans in motion to drink starting at 2PM for the mountain view art and wine festival. When we got to Mon's house, everyone was trashed and we rushed to catch up. We caught up. The rest of the evening is a drunken haze but here are the main points:

A heroic amount of alcohol was consumed
Janelle was compared to Sandra Oh for the second time in her life. The guy who did it barely escaped with his.
I was chastised for attempting to cleverly hide my empty beer bottle in the neighbor's bush.
A Journey cover band was experienced by all.
Janelle crawled through a dog door.
Janessa walked home barefoot.
I ate way more chicken wings than I ever thought possible, the main reason being I hate chicken wings.
Janessa repeatedly threw salt on games
I drove on the wrong side of the road, resulting in unchacteristic squeals of "Whee!" from Janelle.
I attempted to play matchmaker and ended up getting the girl's number for myself
Went to the Blue Bonnet finally after years of yearning to go in.
Woke up at 5AM downstairs with little to no recognition of where I was, still drunk.

Unfortunately, when I woke up again at ten I think I was still pretty tipsy. This meant that as the morning progressed, I began to develop a most annoying hangover that made thrashing on my bed painful and getting ready downright impossible. I only got worse as I ate my taco bell (since when does greasy pseudo-mexican not help?) and was in full on grumpy/whiny mode when I met up with everyone at the second festival of the weekend, the Boogie on the Bayou in Campbell. Quickly realized that all black attire was a bad choice and had to change in public from a short sleeve to sleeveless dress thingie. A nice strawberry popsicle and plenty of puppy sightings helped a little, but then what I can only assume to be my angry and inflamed liver began pressing against my spine with every breath, which put me out of sorts again.

Long story short (although there's no salvaging it now) a humongous barbecue, margaritas and an introduction to ninja warrior lifted my spirits enough to make it through the rest of Sunday. Except now I think I might have diabetes or cirrhosis of the liver, or both. I know I say this all the time, but I don't need to drink for a while.